DreamWeaver5002 (dreamweaver5002) wrote,
DreamWeaver5002
dreamweaver5002

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I just wanna' believe.

Wow, I haven't updated this in forever. I have a little bit of down time for once so I guess I will take the time. :)

I am currently working part-time at Goodwill in Newaygo and I LOVE it! I will have been there for a year at the beginning of November. The people are great, *most* of the customers are great, and it is a very fair, happy, and balanced work place. I am really lucky to have found this job for during school, because the past 3 jobs I had stressed me out beyond belief. Right now I am all about keeping myself stable and relaxed...I really believe that is the key to my success. I'm also attending Baker College, although I once again changed my major. I am slowly (sometimes painstakingly) finding my strengths. I would rather switch my major a million times than get stuck doing something that will make me miserable.

I am still living with Bill. This Christmas will be our 4th Christmas together, and we have lived in this house for 3 years. It's been very rough at times, but we are still fighting the good fight. :) We have 3 cats and 1 dog, a german shepherd/husky mix named Cosmo. I have had him for about a month, and he is my shadow. He's the most perfect dog I have ever owned, our personalities match really well. He is also the smartest dog I have ever owned, sometimes too smart for his own good...but he learns so quickly that I am not worried. The only downfall about Cosmo is that he's very insecure around new people. We bought him in Wisconsin, and he had been shipped from Texas to an animal shelter in Wisconsin, to a non-kill shelter where I got him from...and he was only 5 months old. BUT on a positive note, he has made leaps and bounds since he's came here. I am the only person he has never acted afraid of, I think it's because he knows he's mine. Anyway, can you tell that I love my puppy?!

Over the past 2 years I have dealt with depression and anxiety--I took medication and went to counseling for 6 months about a year ago and when I felt like I didn't need it anymore I just quit. That probably doesn't sound like the best decision, but it was what I needed. Since then, I have felt much stronger and in control of my emotions, and I refuse to let myself lose sight of that again. I don't feel so lost anymore. I think what happened is that I spent so much of my life forcing myself to be strong, forcing myself to not care about things that I had every right to care about. Then all of a sudden it hit me like a tidal wave and everything I tried not to care about came rushing to the surface. I've confronted a majority of my demons since then, and I truly believe that now I am much stronger than I ever was before.






Time to get ready for work! I hope that everyone is well.
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