It's been a while.

Bill and I are pretty much officially together now. He makes me so happy. We're in Grand Rapids right now and he's taking me out to lunch, then we're gonna' go to the mall so he can get some stuff, then to a movie, then to dinner. Wow, I'm spoiled...haha

Finished another semester of school, sooo thankful to be done. Looking for a full time job, if anyone knows of anything, let me know!

I'm living with my grandma right now if anyone was wondering, I'm a lot happier there than at my mom's but what do you expect? I need a full time job so I can get out on my own again. I'm hoping to find something this month and have my own apartment within the next two months. Ambitious, I can do it.

I'm currently working in the Newaygo County Prosecuting Attorney's office, it's very interesting and I like it but I don't work enough hours to pay rent anywhere. The experience is worthwhile, though.

Anyway, hope all is well with everyone.
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School starts back up again tomorrow. I'm not excited at all. Well, except maybe for the self defense class just because I think it might be fun. Driving to school tomorrow will not be fun, though, seeing as how we have all kinds of winter storm warnings. I was hoping it stayed un-winter like until spring came, heh. I'm just not that lucky I guess. I'll be stuck in GR from 7:45 AM to 4:45 PM every Monday and Wednesday.

So, some of you may wonder what I've been doing lately. I've pretty much just been hanging out with Bill in the evenings and then usually Jim and Roy or Katey and Trent during the days. I got a job at Wendy's which I already had orientation for and I start on Tuesday, and I will also soon be working at the District courthouse in White Cloud. I'm not sure if I can handle working two jobs and going to school, so if it doesn't work out I will definitely be quitting Wendy's. It's gonna' suck anyway.

My doggy is doing good, for those of you that don't know I bought a purebred siberian husky and I am pretty much in love with him--he's my baby. His name is Bandit, he's black and white with bright blue eyes.

Excuse how boring this is but I just got really tired and sleep is definitely what I'm about to do.

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You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy
To to save your from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now- here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentlemen
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I don't know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now, watch it go

We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you Used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet
You don't have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentlemen
Like you imagined when you were young
When you were young

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know

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So...Heather and I pierced my nose yesterday. see picture.
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I like it. It hurt a LOT though, worse than my tattoo.
Last night was CRAZY.
"There's always something more you wish he'd say..."
I'm so glad I read Liz's away message. It fits me perfect right now, haha.
November 27=interview at Michigan Works.
I'm applying at this placed called HGA Services on Monday that is looking for people to work in a group home with mentally disabled people. Said you only need a high school diploma and they do paid training so...that'd be cool if that went through.
Otherwise, I applied at Wal-Mart and if all else fails I'm not afraid to work at Burger King. Yup yup.
I'm taking next semester off of school to work full time and save up some money. I'm sooo poor right now.
That's all for a while.

There's always something about this time of year...

My birthday was Saturday. Friday night, Saturday morning, and Saturday night were all pretty crazy. Not gonna' go into details, but just trust me. It was crazy. Anyway, so I'm 19 now. Who wants to go to Canada?!

Uhh...I still live downtown with Heather, Mike, Trent, and Jeremy. I still like it, but Heather and I are continuously looking for our own place. Money is always tight, so it's hard. We'll figure something out, though.

Yesterday was Halloween...I looooove Halloween. 11 of us went out and played hide and seek in the corn field and it was a lot of fun. During the earlier hours Mike let us parade him around in a prom dress...I sat in Vince's grass with my devil horns on and watched him give little kid's candy and Katey make a sad attempt at skateboarding.

I've been having a lot of really nostalgic, painful dreams lately...mostly relating to Brad. I don't know why all of a sudden, it's been almost a year since I've talked to him and I've been doing really well. Who knows...probably just that time of year. "I remember November"...Emerson Drive.

Since I'm not online much anymore I have a hard time getting online and staying online...I get bored really quickly. Soo yeah I don't really have anything to say. Oh, I don't have a cell phone anymore. If you want to talk to me you're gonna' have to...come to my house. Or email me. Or something, because the only person that lives with me that has a phone has a prepaid phone so the only time I really have a phone is when Katey or David is at the house.

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I light your cigarettes
I bring you apples from the vine
How quickly you forget
I run the bath and pour the wine
I bring you everything that floats into your mind

But you don't bring me anything but down
You don't bring me anything but down
You don't bring me anything but down
When you come 'round

You are a raging sea
I pull myself out everyday
I plea insanity
Cause I can't leave but I can't stay
You say, won't you come find me and yes is what I say

You don't bring me anything but down
You don't bring me anything but down
Everything is crashing to the ground

Maybe I'm not your perfect kind
Maybe I'm not what you had in mind
Maybe we're just killing time

You with your silky words
And your eyes of green and blue
You with your steel beliefs
That don't match anything you do
It was so much easier before you became you

You don't bring me anything but down
You don't bring me anything but down
Everything just crashes to the ground
When you come around
When you come around

No more playing seek and hide
No more long and wasted nights
Can't you make it easy on yourself

I know you wish you were strong
You wish you were never wrong
Well, I got some wishes of my own

Slow Motion Suicide

Between two fingers I hold the key to relieving my frustrations
Light it up, breathe in the poison, hold and exhale
Lingering smoke
It twists up and around, graceful, delicate-smoke
My eyes follow its path, my eyes burn
A single tear rolls down my cheek
Pain or pleasure?
Like a razor to the wrist, nicotine is to the lungs
Seeing blood trickling down my arm never hurt
Inhaling toxins into my lungs doesn't either
The feeling is relaxation
Those little annoyances vanish for a few minutes
A slow motion suicide...
Razor to the wrist, not depp at first but gradually
i n c r e a s i n g
Cigarette to the lungs, gray at first but gradually
b l a c k e n i n g
Death from cutting
Death from inhaling
We make the decision
Between two fingers I hold the key to relieving my frustrations

(no subject)

231 225 8859 = my new Nextel phone. calll meeeee.

I got 101% on my Intro to Corrections exam. Highest in the class...bow down, bitches.

Last night was a lot of fun. Every day is fun. I am happy. I don't know what's going on right now, but I'm happy.

haha, I never knew that laying in bed slightly intoxicated with a giant that has girly soft skin would be so much fun. Crazy crazy crazy.

I love Heatherrrrr and KTTTTT and Valllll. They are my lovers.

I'm going to miss Keon. Listening to him play guitar last night made me really sad. Stupid bitch, moving to Detroit and all.

Anyway, 3 minutes until class starts. Hooray for Criminology...I find out what I got on this exam. Pretty sure I did good.